Yesterday morning Ma admitted that she didn’t feel normal. She felt she was losing herself. She seemed more herself. More understanding of what is happening. Yesterday Buddy left and James arrived 2 hours later. I felt exhausted.
It was really good having Buddy here. He turned out to be more than a brother. A friend too. He listened to my hurt feelings with regards to James and was moved and saddened. I have felt so much better having told him how I felt.
So when James arrived I could face him with a smile. And he was thoughtful and kind. I think he was quite hard on poor little Ma, telling her that even just sitting in our sitting room was invading our space. When she goes to his house he will get a carer to help look after her. He hasn’t the time to be with her always. She has accepted this.
After James left today I have been much more loving towards her. Hugging her, kissing her and reassuring her that I am here for her and we’ll make it through together. She said she needed me. She couldn’t do it without me. I keep her alive.