Contemplating In Brussels
I spent about a week in Dublin, fell in love, broke my heart, in short; had a great time.
Fell in love with Nayla. One of those loves you know will never happen but you just let it take you where it goes. CA still has my heart but I have some bad news for CA. Tragic news, she will think. I dont know how to tell her. I think it will devastate her. It will, for sure, ruin all her plans.
My cancer has returned with a vengance as cancers do. I think I will have to cut my trip and return home. I am in constant pain. I'm running out of pain meds and I cant keep getting drunk every night. I havent said anything to CA.
The pain has been getting stronger every day. It's moving fast and changing from a dull pain to a constant sharp stab. I doubled my dose and I only get a few hours of relief.
I was hoping to make it to the end of April, but that now seems unlikely.
It's gotten to the point where I can feel it through my skin. If I dont address it I'll be playing with mylife