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Day 323

Crying crying crying

His smiles are gorgeous. The little noises he makes in excitement melt my heart. The little back and forth conversations we are sharing are so very enjoyable. My little boy is starting to cry less, and starting to become a lot more aware of us and the world around him.

Now when he starts up in the evening I feel like I need to run away. I've dealt with it solidly for over 2 months now, I don't understand why now when it's lessening I'm finding it even harder to deal with.

I theorise that because I'm now not dealing with the crying 24/7 I'm finding it harder. I was almost desensitised before because it was happening all the time; it was the norm. Now, it is not the norm and I feel cheated when he starts up again. I want just some quiet time. Just some down time. I'm also feeling very touched out. I almost can't stand the breastfeeding in the evening. I need him off me. I need to feel like me.

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