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Day 182

Dear Chris

Hey stranger.

I missed you.

Not only did you visit me in my dreams for the first time in a week, but I decided to check my Instagram for the first time in ages and for once, since before I went to Spain, there you were.

Your face was there again on my watch list. It somehow brightened my entire night. New lights on the horizon.

I know there is no turning back for the either of us - something I bring to question when I realise you still look on my social media.

Why do you?

What's the point?

I know you don't want anything to do with me - you made that clear when you ignored my apology.

I've changed my number and everything since then - even my provider - just to never convince myself I don't need to know whether you ever tried reaching out, which I no doubt, you haven't ever tried.

It's just not your thing.

Which is fine, I will always ... You. I don't know. I just know you'll always be knocking around in my head a bit for the rest of my days.

Maybe this moving country will help. Maybe it won't. What it will do is sever us forever.

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