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Day 56

Fighting the urge to lash out

His mom makes these info graphic type collages for every occasion... and last night it was the new gf’s birthday collage... all the pics of them all lovey-dovey at the concert with the caption “love is in the air” with lots of hearts and flowers. Barf.

She hated me. She’s a trump thumper I’m a liberal, she’s religious I’m an atheist, she uses her son I stood up for him, she pushes him around I encouraged him to stand up for himself, on and on. She apparently loves this one.

When he broke up with me he said “I think I just need something easier” right before giving me the I’m not good enough for you speech.

While I’ve reconciled myself with the end of the relationship and know I don’t want him back (the family drama is just one more reason), but I’m still stung by him moving on.

The anger is what’s left this morning... I want to text him something awful, say something about hoping he’s happier with his something easier instead of something deep and real, anything to hurt him. It’s childish but I’m in pain and I want him to be too.

Hide Comments (2)

  • Otter Otter
    8 months ago

    Oh, girl. I've been in that same spot. The one that broke my heart over the phone? I wanted to do the same thing. I was hurting, so I wanted him to feel the pain too. I wanted to post passive-aggressive quotes to social media so he (and his new girlfriend) would see. I wanted to hurt him any way I could. It's hard to resist, but stay strong.

    I couldn't think of anything other than the pain, so I had to completely block him and his girlfriend on social media, and I "unfollowed" all of our mutual friends. I was still "friends" with our mutual group on social media, and I still hung out with them, but I didn't need to see or hear anything that I knew would hurt me more. Not to say that I didn't feel the deep need to unblock him and see how he was doing, but you find strength to fight it. After a bit of time, it became so much easier.

    That choice is up to you - only you know best what would work for you. There may be a different route that works better. However, the fewer triggers you have, the easier it becomes to stop looking back and start looking forward. Sometimes you just have to stop people from rubbing salt in that wound, even if they're doing it unintentionally.

    Sending much love! I know you've got this!

    Advice Rating:

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    8 months ago

    What Otter said....^

    Advice Rating:

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