Gay in 2017 #SuchGoodTimes
I get frustrated often because it seems everyone I know is brainwashed, ignorant and self-involved, including many friends I consider family. MOST if not all of my problems have stemmed from reacting faster & smarter to stimuli than most other people. I really wish I could get tested for free. Almost 50yrs old, and doctors tell me that my biggest concern is learning how to relax. I have consistently outperformed and outworked every single person next to me my entire career, but I’ve never learned how to slow down. I never learned how to STOP being defensive regarding my performance. And, my wiser and older self is understanding that most of that stems from my upbringing in an extremely stressful world with circumstances and hardships greater than many others competing with me along the way. Of course, it didn’t help that I absolutely loathed most of my childhood and pretended to be happy when I wasn’t more often and for longer than I should have. I had nobody to talk to for 29 years about me and my life questions.
But, as I approach my later years true honesty with myself is making my stressed stomach hurt less.