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Day 1

Grieving

Today I read that this discomfort I'm feeling is grief. Grieving for the end of life as I know it. Grieving for being far from my family. Grieving for having to stop work and training.Grieving from the prospect of isolation and the frustration of those who still think that this is not serious or that they are immune...
I feel empty inside and out of sorts. It was then that I realised why I was craving food. From a very early age I used food to fill in a need. Need for company, for affection, to fill up time. Food filled gaps and proofed to be a great companion and comfort in my life. My current circumstances mean that this reality that I knew and was so comfortable for me also has to die for me to move onto the new chapter of my life.
It will be challenging at times when the feeling of emptiness might bring a craving in. Having written this helps me to process it and having seen it for what it is this morning has given me a lot of clarity. All those years suddenly make so much sense to me now...

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