Day 6

Hiding a part of me

From a recent conversation with a psychiatrist, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Today I will go back to a doctor for a more in-depth consultation to check the hypothesis and maybe even start the medication. I'm too nervous, I know it's normal and I need help, but a part of me doesn't admit this "weakness" and is reluctant to take any medicine. For now I'm telling this part of me to shut up and stop messing up my life, because I'm trying to fix my mental health here. But something much bigger is bothering me: I haven't told anyone what is going on. My immediate family is very prejudiced and has no structure to understand and take care of me when I need help. My friends, as much as I love and appreciate them, are just regular teenagers; They won't judge me (oh god I hope), but they won't understand either. Worst of all, I'm afraid that once they find out that my problems aren't just a bad phase, they'll drift away. I'm afraid of being set aside as too troubled a person to deal with. I'm choking on all this, but I don't even know how to start

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  • runcicle runcicle
    5 months ago

    Those that drift away are drifters in search of their own circumstances; they are not a part of a wall of sanity. But you may be surprised at their understanding and support and that your fears are just that - your fears, which are one of the manifestations of your situation.

    F.E.A.R. False Expectations Appearing Real.

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  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    5 months ago

    Is there a support group for people with a similar disorder? I remember when I was diagnosed with a mood disorder many years ago, I joined a support group: I made some friends, and they helped me get through it until I was stabilized. It might work for you....

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