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Day 35

Holed up inside my house... Until tomorrow.

I've holed myself up in my house since Friday when I ended up at my doctors because of my sciatica. I don't want to end up with agoraphobia again, but the depression wants me to stay at home, sleep out the pain and be grumpy to both my dog and my fiance. I made the first step on Tuesday night and went out with my sister to bingo (yes, we're that sad). Today/yesterday I made up for that by not even going out into the garden. The mental health charity I go to has rung me but I just couldn't answer the phone. I've made a plan for the next three days: Go out tomorrow at 8am, go to the centre, go and have my bloods done. Go out Friday because I know if I don't go to my appointment with my care coordinator she'll come to my door. Then Saturday I've bought train tickets for my fiance and I to go to Cardiff shopping. Not so sure I'll actually do all this. The depression I'm in is deep, but I know I shouldn't let it consume me as it has so many times. Bipolar disorder can't always win, right?

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  • Chelsea Chelsea
    85 months ago

    No, bipolar cant always win. It's a good sign that you've even bought the train tickets which shows me that you'll be absolutely fine and I believe you will go and do all those things xx

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  • DuRant DuRant
    67 months ago

    It seems so easy the idea to go outside. I have spent 2 days inside which has not helped my mental state. Agree with you the trick is to get out early in the morning then the day is one of open possibilities not confinement.

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