Holed up inside my house... Until tomorrow.
I've holed myself up in my house since Friday when I ended up at my doctors because of my sciatica. I don't want to end up with agoraphobia again, but the depression wants me to stay at home, sleep out the pain and be grumpy to both my dog and my fiance. I made the first step on Tuesday night and went out with my sister to bingo (yes, we're that sad). Today/yesterday I made up for that by not even going out into the garden. The mental health charity I go to has rung me but I just couldn't answer the phone. I've made a plan for the next three days: Go out tomorrow at 8am, go to the centre, go and have my bloods done. Go out Friday because I know if I don't go to my appointment with my care coordinator she'll come to my door. Then Saturday I've bought train tickets for my fiance and I to go to Cardiff shopping. Not so sure I'll actually do all this. The depression I'm in is deep, but I know I shouldn't let it consume me as it has so many times. Bipolar disorder can't always win, right?