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Day 4

I kind of finally figured out what's wrong with me

Before I talk about sad things, I wanted to say that I am really surprised by the way Pencourage works. It's really great to receive support messages / to be able to support people when they need it. I'm still learning how things work, but it's pretty cool not to have to pretend everything is perfect all the time.
Anyway, I have some not so cool things to say. It's been a few years since I've been feeling bad most of the time, years in which I enter and escape successively from dark places in my head. It was an oscillation I was already used to living.
But this semester, things got more complicated, they got out of control and they ###### me for real. With all this, I decided (FINALLY!) to get help. And now? I can't say that I feel better because I was diagnosed (that word scares me so much) with bipolar disorder.
And what scares me the most? It is a chronic disorder. I can and will seek treatment, take medicine, and whatever. It's a big scary thing, and I'm not sure how to handle it. To assume this is like accepting that my personality and subjectivity were controlled

Hide Comments (4)

  • a_cat_named_Nina a_cat_named_Nina
    14 days ago

    I still don't know how to use this site, but well, I'm confused and that's a fact. I just don't want to sum up this disturbance.

    Advice Rating:

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    14 days ago

    Hi Nina, Now that you know, embrace whatever the treatment is: celebrate your accomplishments and build inner strength to move forward. And just keep moving forward ......

    Advice Rating:

  • runcicle runcicle
    13 days ago

    'I kin of finally figured out what's wrong with me'

    Really? Or did someone else make the diagnosis?

    Either way, It takes more than one consultation to diagnose bipolar.

    Don't be scared by 'chronic'.
    It means 'We (meaning 'I, the doctor') really don't know what causes bipolar, so we're going to try all sorts of things until it goes away.'

    The Dark Places have been created by some of your circumstances. (Not you). You're the best person to understand those, but you'll need help to identify what may be obvious to someone else but not to you. Not all practitioners have that ability.

    Don't hesitate to say 'this person (or medication) is not working for me!'

    'Chronic' is not a life sentence.

    Advice Rating:

  • runcicle runcicle
    13 days ago

    Have you put 'bipolar' into the search box at the top of the Me dropdown? (Not your browser search bar).

    You'll find some interesting pens.

    Advice Rating:

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