I need a break
I love my therapist, she’s helped me though a lot of tough experiences. But I think she’s too attached to my grief. All I end up taking about in my sessions is him and how much losing him hurts.
I had a rough day today, and when I reached out to my bff and told her I’m sick of being sad all the time she pointed out some obvious things. I’m grieving over the loss of the fantasy relationship that is in my head, not over the reality of who he was. He and I didn’t have a perfect relationship, he wasn’t a perfect man, but I’m suffering as if he was. She thinks he wasn’t good enough to me and I would have dumped him by now if it weren’t for the crash. And she’s probably right. He had flaws, we had some struggles, there were warning signs that things might not work. But I’m grieving like I lost Prince Charming.
I need some time with the practical, not the emotional. I’ll be on vacation for three weeks so I’ll drink a lot of rum and lay on the beach and not be sad for a while.