I'm unaffected by my mother's apology in my birthday card.
If you have an LGBTq child that you've essentially been a complete bigot to, don't apologize in their birthday card for your inappropriate behavior. THAT only ruins their birthday.
Saying, "Can we put our disagreeable feelings behind us" is not something that will work well after 17yrs of being embarrassed of your child. How long does a mother need to "I'm sorry for not understanding or recognizing your pain"?
It's really simple. If your child is gay, get over it and accept them exactly as they are as soon as you find out. Do not let them live a decade or more before you honestly address your feelings with them. Your child will not be waiting with open arms after this long.
Instead, I have built up my OWN embarrassment of my parents that could not get over their own child's sexuality. They have been nothing but cowardly, selfish, awkward and unaccepting since day one to their son.
It's too late. Besides, it's not really an apology. It's completely another toxic "Please accept my apology for being me and understand that I will never change. I will just pretend to accept you."
NOPE. Have a nice life.