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Day 128

If a Waiting falls and no one is around...

....to heal it, does it make a sound?

I left the house last night at 11. It was my turn to pack a bag and run. My thinking behind it? Why should I be the one waiting for him? Why not the other way round? I slept in the car until 5am and then knocked on my friend's door and asked her to keep the dogs for me (I don't want them to welcome him either) and then started work. I just finished a little while back. Thank Godness for half days.

I'm in a coffee shop right now. I usually love this place - everyone knows my name.
LET'S ALL SING IT TOGETHER:
"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came."

Smoothy, Panini, radio, friendly faces, wifi and The Times. The sun doesn't even need to shine right?

Wrong, I wouldn't notice if it did come out - to quote Ugolin: "It's not me that's crying. It's my eyes".

What do I do now?

Hide Comments (30)

  • Anonymous Anonymous
    88 months ago

    I don't know why he is torturing you like this, over a out of order comment. I was sure he would be there, especially after leaving that note on your pillow - what has changed? x

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  • Waiting for a life Waiting for a life
    88 months ago

    Nothing, in my mind, has changed. Someone has messaged me to suggest he spent the night with someone else. I've suggested they keep their nasty suggestions to themselves.

    Maybe the post-it was written by Jon in the hope to make me be happy? I don't know. Mr W's phone's off and his friends swear that he's not with them and that they haven't seen him since yesterday morning. I know they mean it because I keep getting calls from all sorts of people asking where he is - including one gallery wanting to pass a message on to him about his meeting this afternoon - I'll be there - he can't ignore me then. I just need not to make a scene.

    This is torture - you're right Princess.

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  • Waiting for a life Waiting for a life
    88 months ago

    Thank you Sara for the love. It's good to know you and the others are out there.

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  • Anonymous Anonymous
    88 months ago

    If he is sleeping around, possibly because he thinks you and Jon were more than dinner chums?, then he has gone down in my estimation for sure. He is being unfair now, there is no need to keep you waiting this long. It's mean.

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  • Scarlett Scarlett
    88 months ago

    oh my goodness, i hope you are ok hunny, and i'm bloody cross at the person who messaged that to you, how terrible, (lots of very bad curse words going through my head).
    I can't believe he hasnt come back, sending you lots of hugs xxx

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  • Waiting for a life Waiting for a life
    88 months ago

    Mr W knows that my feelings for Jon are purely that of sibling love. He knows this. He said it was OK with him for Jon to stay when we spoke very quickly at the weekend.
    I rang Jon a minute ago and asked him about the post-it. He says he knew nothing about it until I found it and told him. He has advised me to check with the hospitals again. He's right - this is so out of character. Maybe something awful really has happened? His Mum is worried now. I had to ring her just in case she knew something. I feel bad because she'll worry all day now. I have lied to my Gran and, told her last night, that he was home and tired so had gone to bed. I'm going to the Gallery to see if he's there for the meeting now.

    I want to slap him.

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  • Anonymous Anonymous
    88 months ago

    Here's hoping you find him safe and sound. x

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  • Gloria Gloria
    88 months ago

    My lovely, I don't know what to say. I've sent you a message which is what I would say to a couple of my closest friends who might be a bit like you.xx

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  • FlyAway FlyAway
    88 months ago

    no scene. no scene. no scene. no scene. no scene. and mr. waiting wouldn't do such a horrid thing, so bugger the person/twat who sent that to you because they don't know mr. waiting at all ! you'll do great. just be there, support him, and come home - talk to him, think with him, be with him. mhph. BE OKAY, SKINNY-MINI LADY.

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  • Scarlett Scarlett
    88 months ago

    I hope you find him xxxx

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  • Waiting for a life Waiting for a life
    88 months ago

    We've been home now for about an hour and he's gone to have a nap. Thanks to Gloria oh my goodness THANK YOU Gloria - I rang the Police Station. He had been taken in for 'suspected disorderly conduct' and they had kept him over night. When I rang they were just waiting for paperwork to be signed to release him. To cut a long story short - he didn't ask them to contact me because he was/is extremely embarrassed and upset. They have, now, proof that he was a bi-stander, via cc tv footage, to a mugging and it was bad luck that he was passing there at the time. He was going to come home but got nervous and so went to the pub where he got drunk (he's a light weight) and ended up being there until around 10pm last night (thankfully the pub staff remember him well - he's quite a character!) and he left to walk back home. A group of lads were in the middle of mugging this guy and he walks in to the whole comotion of it and as the Police arrive there he is (I've seen the footage and had to laugh at the irony of it all) of him helping the poor guy up who's just been attacked. The guy, not having really worked Mr W is helping starts shouting and the Police arrest him. He's still drunk and not making much sense so they take him in. And voila - Mr W is in the clink!
    Poor man, he's had a shitty time of it alright. He managed to leave the Station with a goodbye joke but once we were alone he got really upset and said "it was fate biting him for being such a b*stard".
    I am afraid I melted.
    We still need to talk but right now I'm going to pick up the dogs, make him dinner, grab a film, run a bath and look after him.
    Thank you all for your kind words once again. xxxxxxx

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  • Scarlett Scarlett
    88 months ago

    I'm so glad he's safe and sound and back where he belongs xxxx

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  • Waiting for a life Waiting for a life
    88 months ago

    Thank's Scarlett - I'm on a high right now. I feel really very silly being so happy but I feel like a kid at Christmas. Nothing's going to get me down for a long, long time now!

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  • Scarlett Scarlett
    88 months ago

    Good! You deserve a high, been a roller coaster week for you, I'm so glad your happy and mr w is safe, have a lovely evening xxxx

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  • runcicle runcicle
    88 months ago

    I've been following your distress although I haven't commented. I'm so very pleased for you.

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  • torch torch
    88 months ago

    Waiting I'm really pleased it all came good. Hopefully things will get back to normal. Fact is stranger than fiction. Last night you had a comfortable home and bed which was empty and both of yous were sleeping rough in different places. Oblivious to each others plight. Im sure you's will smile about it all in years to come. It would make a great romantic comedy.

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  • ThatGingerLass ThatGingerLass
    88 months ago

    xxxxxxxx

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  • Waiting for a life Waiting for a life
    88 months ago

    Thank you for your kindness Runcicle, Torch and Ginger.
    Torch you are funny one - Romantic Comedy! You'd have to talk someone like Jennifer Anderson to be the heroin but wear a fat suit! No, no - not good watching :O

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  • :)isgood :)isgood
    88 months ago

    Goodness, read the journal and all comments and thank god it turned out ok! Just glad you're both safe and that this wasn't what you thought it was. Still thinking of you :) xxxxxx

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  • Waiting for a life Waiting for a life
    88 months ago

    You are a Sweety.

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  • Anonymous Anonymous
    88 months ago

    yay!! so pleased for both of you....and may this be the chance for a really GREAT talk and re-connection!

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  • Waiting for a life Waiting for a life
    88 months ago

    Fingers crossed Anne. Thanks.

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  • Deft Calamity Deft Calamity
    88 months ago

    Sending my love Waiting x I hope you are feeling better x

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  • Anonymous Anonymous
    88 months ago

    Xxxxxxx

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  • Chelsea Chelsea
    88 months ago

    I'm so pleased it all worked out well. Whoever nasty piece of work sent that horrible message about him "sleeping the night with someone else" should be ashamed of themselves! I'm glad Mr W is there with all so you can both now talk and work it out HUGS xx

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  • FlyAway FlyAway
    88 months ago

    eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. all good then. :)

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  • White Dog White Dog
    88 months ago

    Ah Waiting, what a story, and what an adventure Mr W had . . .
    Here's hoping it all works out for you. xx

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  • Anonymous Anonymous
    87 months ago

    Hope he wasn't drinking red wine and Stella...makes you wish you hadn't woken up! I've just started feeling human now...

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  • Waiting for a life Waiting for a life
    87 months ago

    Lazy - you are mind-numbingly silly sometimes - such a cutie too! xxx

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  • Anonymous Anonymous
    87 months ago

    Trouble was I didn't know which one NOT to drink and thought, sod it jhave two hands...Stella in one and wine in the other!

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