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Day 109

In the dark

Nothing like knowing how your boyfriend is by seeing random strangers’ posts on social media.

Even the friend I have in the area who was going to visit him today, and who knows I’m hungry for information, didn’t get in touch with me after her visit... And hasn’t responded to a prompting text this evening.

They may not see the urgency or understand my need to be in touch, but he and I reached out to each other and if we didn’t talk we at least exchanged a random emoji or gif multiple times a day, for months. He was a constant in my life, and now there’s just silence. I’m used to not seeing him, but not hearing from him is like losing a limb. There’s this emptiness in my heart all the time. I don’t know if my requests for his family to tell him hi and that I miss him are respected, I don’t know if he has any idea I’m still out here for him aside from my promise to him when I saw him last that I am.

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