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Day 47

Influences

I'm religious and Honeybun is uncertain about whether he believes or not. Neither of us has tried to influence the other on the subject - we just let eachother be. So, when I told Honeybun I'd be participating in Lent, I was surprised when he said he'd like to participate. He wanted to give up alcohol for Lent, and since I had been relying on wine to get over bad days, I decided it was a great idea and joined him. Neither of us have had a drink in a few weeks, and we've been discussing the positive changes it has had on us.

However, we're going to a tailgating event with his parents this weekend, and Honeybun's mother pressured for us to just take a break for one day and drink since she will be bringing alcohol. We've said no, but she'll keep pushing. Honeybun slowed his drinking due to a DUI charge he is currently fighting, and he chose to (temporarily) give it up for Lent as a way to repent the mistake. I wish his mother would stop pushing when he is trying so hard to be strong.

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  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    10 months ago

    Yeah, this culture is so obsessed with having alcohol EVERYWHERE! Stick to your guns, and tell MIL that although her generosity is appreciated, the two of you want to enjoy your time away from strong drink. Then change the subject to sports or the weather.....

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  • Otter Otter
    10 months ago

    Good idea Rav - thanks. We've been noticing that culture too. We used to feel like we /had/ to have a drink to have a good time in social settings ("let loose" and all that), but we went to a crawfish boil last week where everyone else was drinking and were surprised when we still had a great time without having any alcohol. It has also saved us more money than we thought it would - we actually bought pricey bicycle parts with our "beer" money, even though we never thought we spent that much on beer!

    It's been a bit difficult for me to be around (eventually-to-be) MIL because she and her husband are avidly heavy drinkers and also had a drug habit they'd coerced Honeybun and my own father into for a short time (Not pot. Something else. It was what caused the feud between Honeybun's parents and mine). I don't know if Honeybun's parents have kicked the habit, but it did a real number on Honeybun and my father. Thankfully they both nipped it in the bud, but I still worry sometimes about MIL's influence on Honeybun. She's such a sweet and kind lady, and I love her to bits. I have a great relationship with her, but I have a difficult time trusting her now. Maybe the trust will grow back with time. I just keep reminding myself that Honeybun makes his own choices, and I trust him.

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  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    10 months ago

    Otter, as long as you two hold together, you'll do fine. My late sister had an alcohol and drug habit, and her husband did nothing to help. He fed his own drug and alcohol habit in front of her, so she saw no reason to alter her behavior. It's much easier to do it if you're in it together. Stay firm!

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  • Otter Otter
    10 months ago

    Proud to say we did hold firm and felt great for it!

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