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Day 358

Is there anyone there?

I used to have Sam, who knew everything dark I have done and thought about, all my depression and all the tears.

Not once did he call me a drama queen like my mum, or ignore me like my dad, or say something cheerful because they were uncomfortable like the one other close friend I have.

He just was. I just was. We both knew we are just who we are, and we didn't judge. We allowed each other to vent and tried to help the other see the brighter side, so that we might live to see another day.

I don't have someone like that any more. Sam is gone. It's just me now. We were meant to help keep each other alive through all the sadness we feel, but it couldn't last forever. Now I'm on my own.

I felt so totally safe with Sam because it felt like I didn't have anything to lose with him, even though I lost everything with him.

I've spent almost an hour lying in a random spot on the floor crying hard. I don't feel good enough. I just piss everyone off, even when I don't do anything at all.

Is there anyone there who can help?

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  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    8 days ago

    it really hurts to lose those who accept us like Sam does. I don't know if there's anyone who can help.... I wish I had something more helpful to say, other than I'm sorry for your pain....

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