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Day 18

it comes again

I thought it was finished, this angryness in me. The kids made me flip. I was only trying to help them do better at school, all my oudest wanted to do is nothing. He doesn't want to do better, he wants to sit and watch TV and do nothing!
My fibromyalgia is here and it's eating me alive. I can't hardly move, can barely speak. I am so angry at myself!

He broke the pencil so that he didn't have to write anymore. I pushed his chair away and told him to go into his room, he told me he wants to live somewhere else. HE IS 10!!!!

I feel a failure, a worthless mother. I can't do anything with my kids. My bank accounts were taken off of us because of lawyers costs from our exes. Buying things online is a no. We get money every week it's not enough. we can barely eat from it.

When my partner wasn't looking I cut myself, I cut because I wanted to feel something else than the failure I am. I didn't want to be here in life, but I am. I cut because I am a useless mother. I shouldnt be here

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