It comes in waves
I had a great day. Went to rehearsal, had a great time with some wonderful dancers, ate some great food, went wine tasting with friends, and was curled up on the couch in my jammies by 7, totally content.
Then it hits me out of nowhere. Grief. Rejection. Pain.
Just a couple weeks ago he was professing his love and telling me how important I was to him... and now it’s I want to be friends and start over, a couple benign texts once in a while and can I call you later with no call, nothing for days.
To go from feeling so important to someone you love to feeling so insignificant is crushing. To let him in and trust him with my heart only to have him treat it so poorly is devastating.
I cry a little.
Then the wave goes away. Logic comes back. This is for the best. I disagree with how he’s treating himself, and I deserve to be treated better than he’s been treating me. So letting go is the right thing to do. I should return his Christmas present.
Maybe he’ll hit his bottom, get his crap together, and we could start over someday.