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Day 111

It feels strange looking back after medication begins to work

I didn't even know something was wrong with me most of my life. I thought I was quite enjoyable, kind and generous to all people. And then, just a few years ago, I began realizing that most people cannot handle hanging out with me for extended periods of time. I've never had a best friend. I've made so many friends and acquaintances in my life that most years I felt a little popular. But, the repeat friends that love hanging out with me all the time, not so much in my life.

Well, now I know. Prior to Bipolar Medication, I was wound up filled with anxiety half the time getting crazy over ANY stress. During the same day, I was almost in tears because of something that made me overly emotional. My mood changed so fast on a daily basis that you'd think I was a hyper teenager in my late 40's. The most difficult part of it all was not being able to forgive anyone for how they've treated me. I spent most days being angry at everything and everyone or in complete sadness because I knew something wasn't right.

Sad; I had a mental disorder my entire life.

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