Lets be friends
Really need a friend right now.
Lost all of mine several years back thanks to an abusive ex and he left me in such an unconfident state, a state propped up by my critical, rejecting mother, that iv'e never sought to make more.
Really wanna change that, though i have no idea how. I don't drink, i don't do drugs, i don't really go out that much and when i do, i'm much too cripplingly shy to talk to anyone.
But i want a life, a better life for myself. I want to fall in love, get married, like everyone else does, and be happy with whoever chose me to be 'their person'.
I mean, whoever it is, will have to have nerves of steel and strong patience. Lol.
I have more emotional baggage than an airport, alongside Autism, severe General & Social Anxiety Disorders, a fat body that resembles Jabba The Hut, and a heart thats worn and fractured.
My own mother proclaims that i am 'too hard to love'.
Iv'e almost accepted that i am. Well...acknowledged. Not accepted.
Accepted implies feeling no pain at the thought of being alone forever.
Never truly loved. At thirty-eight, thats a sad thought-process to be in.