Little Reminders Really Hurt.....
I know I've blathered on and on about my New-Ex, but there are sometimes when my heart breaks once again. Small reminders that just pinch my heart, knocking the wind out of me...There's an empty mustard jar on my table which I've forgotten about. After New Years 2017, I started writing little notes about minor things that took place on different days. I go through them, and they're all so small yet sweet : one was about a delectable meal we had at her sister's place on New Years Day. Another is about picking up a guitar which I got her as an Xmas gift. There's one in her handwriting: "Had beignet donuts at Cheeky Sandwich with R." followed by a little heart and dated January 17, 2017.
It's incredible hard to believe that it was just over a year ago that were so in love. All these memories are so sweet, yet so sad. Because deep in my heart I do miss her, but at the same time I know that I just can't go back.
Because what awaits me there? Hostility, criticism, mis-judgments, prejudices, and, to a certain degree, boredom in knowing that she'll never be different.