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Day 434

Morning blow out

Beloved has just blown up at me. The first morning Ma is away and he’s yelling at me. Maybe that’s why he wants her gone. It’s all over egg cups. He didn’t like the design of the egg cups I had bought years ago so he threw them away although I asked him not to. Twice he threw them in the bin and twice I have taken them out and washed them. So I told him that if he threw them away again I would throw away his TVAM egg cups. He was lying in bed. That was at 8.10 this morning. It is now almost 10 and he has appeared, fuming. If I dare to touch his TVAM egg cups he will throw away my engagement ring! How dare I threaten him!

The TVAM egg cups represent to him the best time of his life. He’s forever looking backwards. For me they are just ugly egg cups that have little use as they are too small. They take up space and collect dust. For him they are his glorious past. So he would chuck the symbol of our relationship in the bin as a return.

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  • White Dog White Dog
    14 months ago

    Christ on a bike George, they are only egg cups!!! I am guessing that this a symptom of something more. I am guessing the stress of having your mother staying with you is getting to you both and coming out sideways.

    Having read your other posts, you are looking after your mother almost without support, I know you have a deep sense of duty but what is this costing? Is it really sustainable to look after your mother in the long term? If you decide this is the only way forward, you need to get as much support in place as possible and you need to take time to look after yourself and nurture your own family. Otherwise you are going to burn yourself out. xx

    PS. I am fine all well and all clear.

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  • George Smith George Smith
    14 months ago

    Yes, really crazy! I think you are absolutely right - this is about my mother, not the egg cups. It's such a difficult situation. I honestly have no idea what to do. I just feel so very sad for my poor mother. And I do understand Beloved not wanting this, very much. She does her best not to be difficult and to fit in and I feel so sorry for her. She's lost everything. I wish he could allow her to be here. I dare not even talk about her to him because it makes him angry. And I can't talk to James either - the other person who might help me. They both want her in a home. I don't find it just emotionally difficult, but morally too. I think it isn't fair or right. Time will give us an answer. Thank you for your kind words. I'll see what I can do about getting help. And I am extremely glad to hear all is well with you and that you are in the clear - what a great relief. You should celebrate. xxx

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  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    14 months ago

    I really feel for you
    It affects everyone & everything
    But she is your Mum and this is difficult for you seek that support
    Have a family meeting and come to a decision Share the Care xx

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