I know you are supposed to love your mum, and I suppose I must, just I'm not sure how much I do. If my dad was ill it would be the end of my world but my mum - I think I might be relieved. You see my life began as an accident and I know it - it led to my mum being 'forced' (by her own assumptions) to marry my dad. When I was born I believe my mum had baby blues as it was called. I had some medical problems and was difficult to feed and settle apparently my dad often came in from a 12 hour shift to find me needing fed and changed. By the time I was half way through primary school I had 3 siblings and my mum was having an affair. I became the protector of my siblings and protector of my fathers character against almost daily assaults. As a pre teen and teenager I hated my mum, she was simply out for herself and against my dad. Now that I am older and facing my own possible mental health problems I can see similarities.