I saw M today. First time since S killed himself. I was anxious but there was no need. She wanted to talk from the moment we said hello.
She said he died of asphyxiation, not strangulation. He had done his research. He leaned into the rope. Didn’t need to lift his legs. Simply cut off his carotid arteries and the effect was like a general anaesthetic " within 20 or 30 seconds he would have blacked out and then death was certain to follow if he stayed in that position. There was no pain or gasping for breath, just a squeezing until he passed out.
At first her brain couldn’t compute what she saw. He hadn’t closed his bedroom door, all the lights were on, they were all upstairs getting ready for bed. It was 9 o’clock and she had just said goodnight to T. She wanted to talk to S about how he was and immediately went to his room. She almost walked into his body, hanging, slumped from the beam in his room. She said it looked like a strange, horrific piece of art, until she saw his face.
His face was at peace, as though asleep.