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Day 55

On the path to rebuilding myself

Beginning to feel more like myself these days. Its taken time and will no doubt take more. But I'm starting to feel more confident in my own skin, but I've noticed some changes, whether they are intentional or not.

I've lost a fair bit of weight. Definitely not intentional. The New Year started with me refusing to eat and being constantly sick. Even now, my appetite is not what it was. But my skinny jeans slide down my butt without undoing them.

I am not the dirty minded naughty individual I was. The type who could easily flirt on the phone and accepted compliments. Now I can just about flirt, I cant take a compliment and I have a significant drop in sex drive. I used to be a horny bitch, bf or no bf. Now the idea of playing just puts me off.

Who knew that one guy could change my world that much. To the point that I pretty much walked down a path toward destruction, and I have unconsciously changed my habits and attitudes.

I want to be myself again. I want to feel like I'm normal, or at least my version of normal. Not broken, not incomplete.

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