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Day 30

Over-apologizing and the pound of flesh

We were in a diner having a meal when soon-to-be-ex once again brought up something that I "did" to her to make her feel bad. It was a while ago, but she felt the need to litigate that issue once more, for the umpteenth time, because ultimately, she has an complete inability to forgive and will never forget.

Good relationships are based on selective amnesia.

So I hear myself say the following:

"I apologize for that. I have apologized for that in the past, I apologize for it now, and I will continue to apologize for it in the future."

and it makes my blood boil, because those words are so ridiculous. Just how much can one apologize and never receive forgiveness or put the past behind.

I know she knows nothing of William Faulkner, but I remember his saying: "The past is never over; hell, it's not even past."

And so we lumber along; I'm going to see her on Friday night and she's been pretty well behaved, but I know she's got the shivs on call to jab them into my side and strike a blow against me.

Because she wants more than apologies: she wants a pound of flesh. Nothing less will do.

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  • Bettedavis Bettedavis
    11 days ago

    You make me laugh
    Soon to be ex
    Kick her to the kerb
    I could not be bothered with that shit , have fun , laugh, let go of the past live in the present tell her or just Fuck Off life is too short
    I would never look forward to meeting up with all that negativity
    What are you doing
    You need your willy tickling?

  • Tammie Tammie
    11 days ago

    Why do you keep putting yourself through this? If she's so mean to you you should be running gir the hills, not dithering over whether she's your ex or not. You've apologised for your wrong doings, she should accept that and move on. Its like she has some kind of hold on you. Try going cold Turkey, cut her out of you life completely. I know you said there are times when she's nice and you get along well, but do the good times really outweigh the bad?

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