Pain behind the smile
I find it hard to put my emotions into words, written or spoken, always struggled with that.
I am unhappy, I hurt every day.
I have some real good things in my life, beautiful children, a job I love, a nice house, a hard working husband who is a good father.
But I am unhappy. Am I selfish?
There are people out there who would give their right arm for my plodding along life, people who are abused, starving, freezing...........
Today at work I was called 'the mother they never had', such a compliment, but I found it hard to mentally ingest.
I feel selfish and unworthy of compliments at the moment. Confidence is at an all time low.
My basic needs are met, but still I hurt and want more.....
I miss tenderness, being made to feel like I am the 'only one'.
I'm just Mum!
I have lost the real me and I really do not know where to find her.
Today was a hard day and even with the sunshine, compliment and cuddles from my children, I have found it hard to find the beauty in the day.
I must be selfish or greedy!
I want more!