Day 76

Places, Times and Events

It’s apparently important for me to recognise that my behaviour is not normal and, perhaps more so, should not be capable of normalisation by me.

Here’s my “read this back to yourself time and time again and try to realise how fvcked up you are” (200 word) list.

1. I made myself throw up after eating 3 mini eggs.

2. I often decide to throw up everything I eat or drink for a day to make sure I Still Got This.

3. I went 7 days drinking only coffee and eating only one punnet of grapes.

4. I had a happy birthday meal with my partner, my brother and his wife. I threw it up in the restaurant bathroom whilst they waited for me at the table.

5. I was at a client lunch, I ate a salad (no dressing). Still felt the need to be sick afterwards and took so long making sure I got Every Last Bit Out that the motion sensing lights turned off, plunging me into darkness.

6. I was once at a fancy client do and after eating a few canapés, threw them up in the upmarket toilets.

7. I vomited in the street to avoid being overheard in a small flat.

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