Speaking to therapist-friends...
I have a friend who was a social worker/therapist who has not practiced professionally in many years, but is still at the top of her game. I described what's going on in nearly-ex-gf's home with her son. She knows nearly-ex pretty well, as we've been hanging with her in all sorts of ways for many years, so she knows nearly-ex's history and background.
I describe everything that's going on in the home, the fights, the insults, the anger. I tell her that nearly-ex doesn't set limits on the son, that even though he lives with her and works a full-time job, he does not shop, clean, cook or do laundry (even though he is capable of doing it all by himself.) I tell her that son makes plenty of money, yet nearly-ex pays for his phone bill and charges him no rent nor chips in for food.
"So she sets no boundaries on him," she says. Yep.
"And he can just do whatever he wants," she says. Yep.
"And she puts up with all his shit and doesn't try to stop him," she says. Yep.
"Well, then she's enabling him. She's the one who's go to put limits on him. Will she?"