Struggling to understand myself
I'd love to get some oomph back into my life. Between work, parenting, running a household and trying to maintain my social networks, I feel that I don't manage to spin any of these plates well enough. Part of me wonders why I bother trying to maintain relationships with others, as they do not seem to bring me happiness or fulfillment - just another way for me to feel inadequate. I am facing a family gathering tomorrow with trepidation. I usually look forward to doing things socially only to end up feeling awkward and anxious the whole time and wishing for it to be over . I don't even understand this myself . Why can't I just be happy? I have plenty more than most .