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Day 792

The big talk

As she sat in her wheelchair in her bedroom, I spoke to her of staying in the home permanently. She was far kinder and more accepting than I had ever imagined. She understood. She did say she would get better and I agreed, but she was old and her needs would ever increase. She asked what we would do with the room and I said that we would return to B & B. She said that she would pay the B & B money, as she has been doing. I said that wasn’t it. Beloved wanted his privacy back. I told her that I loved her and she told me she loved me. I said that I was more sorry than I could say. She understood. I felt devastated. She was stronger than me. ‘Don’t cry. I’ve been through worse. I’ve been through the war.’ My brave and beautiful mother.

I took her to S Gardens. It felt as though this would be the last time we would go there together. Inside I was falling apart. I pushed her wheelchair and behind my face was streaming with tears. But we had coffee together as though nothing would ever change.

Hide Comments (3)

  • RavDiablo RavDiablo
    7 weeks ago

    I wish I could "send love" for this, but I did already for someone else. I hope that in the home she'll get good care and that you'll get to spend only "good time" together.....

    Advice Rating:

  • Otter Otter
    7 weeks ago

    If only I could send you a great, big, comforting hug! I'm sure it's hard to fully believe it right now, but things will get better. You'll be able to improve your relationships with Beloved and your children, she'll get chances to feel more independent and have "her" space, you'll have more time for you and the things you love to do, and now when you see eachother you'll both have many more things to talk about and stories to tell.

    Advice Rating:

  • George Smith George Smith
    7 weeks ago

    Thank you both. It's a bad time, but as you say and I sincerely hope, in the long run things should get better and easier. I guess they will be for me, but I so hope for her too.

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