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Day 20

The need to be voiceless

As I have mentioned before I hate being in charge. In my previous incarnation I was the boss. Work was fun but hard. I made the decisions, controlled the fate of my staff, the business. Constantly searching for ways to make things better, make more profit, develop my employees. I worked long hours, stupidly long. I was in charge, responsible, dynamic. I painted on the smile tirelessly. I did my job and then some. I loved it.................I hated it. I wanted someone else to make the decisions, find the solutions.

When I got home it was the same. My husband likes to take a back seat, not make decisions. I would decide what was for dinner, sort out the kids, listen to their problems and help them find solutions. I was screaming for someone else to make a choice, to take the pressure. Yes, of course I told him, we have had many discussions about it. Nothing has changed.

Then my Master came. He takes charge, makes decisions. I have no say. Voiceless. I do as I'm told. I obey. No pressure. No problems. No "thinking outside the box".

Just heady pleasure. My only responsibility is to please.

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  • Beautiful Disaster Beautiful Disaster
    28 months ago

    No wonder you enjoy your life so much as a submissive. Are you still in that relationship and that job Slavemeat, Do you and your Master have an online relationship or is it in real time x

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  • Slavemeat Slavemeat
    28 months ago

    Still with my Master Beautiful Disaster, 8 years now and it is a real time relationship. I left that job a little while ago now. My new job has less pressure but I am still in charge. x

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  • Beautiful Disaster Beautiful Disaster
    28 months ago

    Smiles....Well done you , its great to see you are finally in control of yourself and have been freed of all that was controlling you x

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  • Elvira Moo Elvira Moo
    28 months ago

    I read your posts since I signed up and never thought of you as having a life outside being a submissive! How did you become one?

  • Slavemeat Slavemeat
    28 months ago

    There are days when I wish that was all I was too Millie Moo. hahaha. I guess it was always in me and I just found the right man to show me the way. Not sure he thought of himself as a dom previously either, I'll have to ask him at some point. Like I say in this entry it was a relief to find someone to take charge of something in my life, maybe that's where it started. x

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  • Elvira Moo Elvira Moo
    28 months ago

    I can see why it would be a relief to let someone else make the decisions, not sure I would be brave enough to let someone though. Is it difficult balancing both aspects of your life?

  • Slavemeat Slavemeat
    28 months ago

    Trust is a huge part of it. My Master and I were together for 3 years before I let him take complete control. The last 5 years have been the best in my life. I don't know that I do balance it, I just accept it. They're 2 halves of my life that make a whole. Make me whole I suppose xxx

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