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Day 736

The next stage?

I’m worried about Ma. She is confused and fragile. She is unable to walk alone. She has not had a shower for a week. She is too scared because she might fall over. She asks me what to wear, her hearing aid drops off her ear onto her lap and she cannot find it, it is a struggle for her to stand up from a sitting position. She remembers nothing, never knows the day of the week, every time she hears a news story it is new to her, although she has heard it every hour.

Her operation was only a week ago so it is early days and I must hope. I am cloaked in sadness. I went to the gym this morning and jumped about with the women. They were full of banter and cheer. I was there but not with them. My face looked puffy in the mirror. I said nothing. Just did as I was told. Peter, our Polish instructor, was kind.

I have cooked all day because Teddy, Elizabeth, E and A are coming to see us tomorrow to celebrate E’s engagement to A. Ma will open her eyes in wonder; she will smile and behappy.

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