Feel so low, undervalued, taken for granted, depressed. I wouldn't ever hurt myself but I am having thoughts of suicide. I lay in bed at night and think of slashing my wrists or taking an od of my medication, I think of how my funeral would go and who would be upset BUT I wouldn't and couldn't do anything to myself, not for my sake but for the sake of my son and family. I know this feeling will pass as it comes and goes and tomorrow I could be ok but right now I am in the depths of my darkness. I get pissed off easily, resent people, all my troubles seem x1,000,000 worse, money problems, my mysterious reason for having diabetes (I am not a typical type 2 patient) family trouble, lack of sex etc etc etc.
I just bottle all this up and wait for it to simmer down rather than speak to anyone. Here I am, telling my feelings to complete strangers online, does that make me sad that i'd rather scurry away than tackle my issues head on?