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Day 633

The struggle

Inside I was like thunder this morning, even though the sun was shining, and all was beautiful around. When I got back from the gym Ma was there, earlier than expected. I never like that. She is happy to see me and croaks some greeting. I can barely answer. I rush around and then disappear off for a shower. Just needing time alone, to prepare for the day, time out. When I arrive for breakfast, I’m more relaxed. She has turned on the radio and it speaks between us like a wall. She has closed her eyes. I don’t disturb her. When we have to go, she tells me how tired she is. She got up early because she has an appointment to see the chiropodist that she doesn’t want to miss.

I am not gentle towards her until we are heading back to the car after our short walk next to the canal. The sheep are on the other side. No lambs yet. It’s very windy and Ma struggles with every step. As we return at last I sincerely encourage her and tell her that she has done well. She sits in the car with great relief.

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