Today's the day: an ultimatum
I awaken in the middle of the night because I know, today is the day. Today is the day I tell my gf to go with me and see my therapist. Today's is the day I explain to her that I love her and that I'll help her, but keeping things the way they are is unacceptable. Today's the day I say to her, "you've been doing nothing for the past 2 years. Today's the day you start working on this, or today's the day we're through."
Because I'm not sitting through another meal, conversation, movie, tv show, bus ride or whatever watching her text her son's problems away. I'm not sitting for another gripe session about how she doesn't understand her son and she doesn't know what to do. She has the resources, she has the support; she just doesn't have the will.
I believe she may be co-dependent on this lad. He's all grown up and I know she misses him as a child, and she is acting out being a mother who can fix everything, even though this kid is an adult.
Today's the day: either she starts to take action or I move on. There are not other options.