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Day 10

What am I burying?

What am I burying?

Rwandan coup d' etat
Don’t remember first kiss, or name. Boy from UCFV? I didn’t like him very much so why did I go to his school?
Happy memories from childhood.
Inappropriate touching in india?
Being sad. All the time
Crashing my car on purpose
Drugs / alcohol as a reprieve from my sadness. To feel happy. To feel.
Losing the baby.
Still born.
Crazy hormonal pregnancy. Hating Deep.
Wanting to die.
Being kissed by a few girls.
Lots of black outs
Lots of fights, and make ups…so much toxicity.
So much pain.
Never feeling happy.
Natural pre-disposition to all things melancholy. Dark occult, scary movies, sad poetry, death, meaning of life, break ups, pain, the art, the movies, the music. Being overwhelmed by it all.

As I grew up, I learned how to accept it. And by that, of course, I mean that I learned how to avoid it entirely with courageous amounts of booze and drugs to quell the beast inside my head. Many mornings were introduced to me in olive-colored puddles of my own vomit, ready to welcome the day with a stench so foul that a starving buzzard wouldn’t even dare to approach it.

Forgetting things.

Hide Comments (1)

  • Mousie Mousie
    35 months ago

    Did kissing other girls upset you?

    Advice Rating:

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