You Can't Help Me, But I Feel Better Asking
I could use a little help today.
That's how I feel. But realistically it's up to me.
Several years ago I was diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Basically it's PMS on crack.
Episodes plunge me suddenly into feelings of utter hopelessness, and at its worst suicidal ideation, lasting 1-2 days.
Thankfully, I haven't done anything about the latter for years, nor have I have ever done anything serious about it. Once though.... well, when I graduated with my BFA, I had to wear loads of bangles on my wrists to cover up the fresh, red welts.
I can manage it much better now, and I know what it is (back then, I had no idea) and I just try to ride it out.
I talk to my mom about it. It's hard to discuss with people though, because I don't know why I'm telling them. I mean, if I start crying in front of them then it's just fair, but otherwise, it feels like burdening them.
No birth control managed it until this one I began a few months ago. Ran out, and been on an old one all month.
A week left til I get back on the good stuff...